Toadally Screwed
by kris0820
Summary: Who knew a Mario game could have so many mess-ups they left out not showing? But the Mario crew is ready to show you the many bloopers they found, and you'll really know why they were taken out!
1. Donkey Kong: The Original Arcade Game!

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own any of the Mario franchise, merchandise, or characters. How many times do I have to tell you?**

**Author's Note:**

**I deleted Super Mario Screw Ups to make a new version of it. Now don't flame in the review section… I know this has been done many times, but hey who's counting? I took inspiration from iSqueakers' **_**Mario Scenes Gone Wrong.**_

Mario is seen sitting on a barrel besides some others, roasting a weenie above the flaming oil drum.

Mario: Ah! Glad you could all make it! Welcome to Kris0820's _Toadally Screwed!_ Today's bloopers will be from a classic arcade game starring _moi!_

Donkey Kong leaped in on top of Mario, squashing him.

Donkey Kong: Don't forget DONKEY KONG!

Mario: You big hairy ape! You and your fat butt!

DK: It's no butt! It's a space station!

DK then proceeded to "let out" some gas.

DK: And it's got that new car smell! Ooh roasted weenies!

Mario (looking ready to puke): Quick! Cut to the bloopers before I hurl!

_**DONKEY KONG**_

XXXXXX**-ROCKET BARREL-**XXXXXX

Mario's goal was simple, reach the top and save Pauline from the hairy ape Donkey Kong. Not that difficult, but Donkey Kong was rampaging at the top, throwing barrels down at him.

Donkey Kong: Get a load of this, carpenter boy! (Throws barrel at Mario's head)

Mario: I've had enough of this monkey business! (Insert drum cue here)

Mario found a barrel just lying near the oil drum. Thinking up a plan, Mario ran over to the unsuspecting barrel and picked it up. He wanted to give DK a taste of his own medicine.

But as soon as he picked it up, a fuse came out from the back and landed in the fire. The flame went on it, and sizzled up to the barrel.

Mario: Alright you big monkey, it's my turn n—

That's really only what he got to say, because the fuse had already reached back to the barrel and sparks emitted from the barrel's bottom.

Mario: Oh no!

The barrel then took Mario up into the air, it went higher and higher until it exploded. Donkey Kong looked from below with binoculars.

DK: Heh…

Director: CUT! What was that?

DK: I got back at him for puking all over me earlier! Haven't you people ever heard of revenge?

XXXXXX**-A BOOMING KISS-**XXXXXX

Mario finally reached the top of the tower with hammer in hand. He ran over to DK and whacked him in the "undisclosed location".

DK: Eek! Oh that was painful!

While the ape was trying to pass the pain from his "undisclosed location", Mario went over to Pauline.

Pauline: Mario! You saved me!

She leaned in for a kiss. Mario couldn't back away from it and decided to lean in too. But as he got close, it turned out that Pauline was actually a cloaked TNT barrel.

Mario: What the heck!?

**BOOOM!**

Mario: What kind of stupid ^%$&#*! logic is that!

Director: CUT! DK is your said revenge over with yet?

DK: Not until the pain goes away! *rolls over in pain*

XXXXXX**-JACK IN THE BARREL-**XXXXXX

Mario: You can't catch me! *ducks in barrel*

DK then showed up, his butt having "WIDE LOAD" spray painted on it.

DK: Your days are numbered, Luigi!

Director: CUT! It's Mario! Not Luigi!

Luigi: Aw, and just when I was going to make my surprise cameo!

_**TAKE TWO**_

Mario: You can't catch me! *ducks in barrel*

DK then showed up, his butt having "WIDE LOAD" spray painted on it.

DK: Your days are numbered, Mario!

He tried to open the barrel, but it was nailed down pretty good. Looking around, he saw a crank on the side. He turned it, and a tune from the arcade game played.

DK: Now I get it… once the tune ends, he'll come out!

After cranking it for about 74 days, 93 minutes, and 37 seconds, the tune ended. The top started to open up… and a demon like creature popped out and scared the living daylights out of the ape.

DK: *gasping for air* Somebody call an ambulance… *topples over on the ground*

Director: *laughing on the floor* Cut…. Cut... CUT!

XXXXXX**- A BOUNCE TO NEW HEAD INJURIES-**XXXXXX

Mario walked over to a sign that said "SHORTCUT TO THE TOP".

Mario: Sweet! No more walking!

But as he jumped on the spring, he felt himself go pretty high up. But what he hadn't remembered was the steel girders that he went through.

When he finally got though all the girders, he flew above DK and Pauline. Mario then looked down to find himself falling down again. This time, there was no spring at the bottom. He fell through the girder and disappeared off screen.

Pauline: He's not coming back is he?

DK: CUT!

Director: Hey that's my line!

DK: Then say it!

Director: CU—

Mario: Well that's all for today's bloopers, I hope you enjoyed them!

DK: I'm still going to get you for puking on me!

Mario: Whatever! Anyway see you later!

DK: I know where you live!

Mario: Would you like some weenies to calm your nerves?

DK: Alright!

Both of them are then seen eating roasted weenies from over the flaming oil drum.

Mario: This is Mario, signing off for the _Toadally Screwed_ crew. Good night everybody, and don't forget to review!

**So how'd you like it? Leave your thoughts/compliments/complaints (better not, you hear?) in the reviews. See you next time on **_**Toadally Screwed!**_

DK: I'm surprised we didn't "do a barrel roll"...


	2. New Super Mario Bros Wii

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own any of the Mario franchise. How many times do I have to tell you?**

Mario: Hello all! We, the _Toadally Screwed _crew, welcome you to another exciting—

Suddenly, a large shadow loomed over him. It was an airship, and you could probably tell who owns it.

Bowser: *speaking through an intercom* Now hold up here! Certainly you weren't going to leave the almighty Koopa King out of this? Because I'm taking over this one!

Bowser jumped from the deck and crushed the director.

Bowser: Now I'm in command! And whatever I say goes! So you have to deal with it!

Mario: Well… no use arguing. Anyway, today's blooper package comes from _New Super Mario Bros. Wii!_ Otherwise known as the first four-player co-op Mario game! This was suggested by fellow reviewer **Owen96!**

Bowser: Yeah, we can all thank our wonderful reviewers for suggesting trash like this!

Mario grabs Bowser by the tail and swings him up into the air. After a few spins, Mario let go and sent Bowser flying into the air.

Bowser: I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!

Yellow Toad: Can we just get this started? I don't even get paid for being here!

_**NEW SUPER MARIO BROS. WII**_

**~~~ {TITLE SCREEN…OF DOOM} ~~~**

Blue Toad: Are you sure I can't be in the front?

Mario: NO! Now get in your place!

Mario, Luigi, and the Toads got in their places for the title screen where they prepare to walk in position.

Luigi: Alright, let's go!

They started walking normally as the title lowered down above them. But one of the crew members in the catwalk holding the logo was about to lose his grip.

Crew Member: Geez, how much does this stupid thing weigh?

He couldn't hold on to it anymore, he let go of the rope and it dropped on the four below.

**CRASH!**

Yellow Toad: I'm really not being paid for this!

**. . .**

Mario: Hey, where's our so called new director?

**SOMEWHERE 200 FEET IN THE AIR…**

Bowser: I'M FLYING! I'M FLYING!

**~~~ {SHELL GAME} ~~~**

Mario hopped up on a Koopa and it ducked in its shell. As he jumped off of it, he accidently kicked it at Luigi.

Luigi: Hey watch where you kick that thing!

He picked it up and tried to throw it back at Mario, but he jumped out of the way. The shell ran straight into a tower, and a small crack formed from it. The Koopa came out from his shell and slapped his head.

Koopa: What in the world do they make these things out of?

Suddenly, the crack grew bigger and bigger, until the whole tower crumbled into pieces.

Luigi: Well, that spare's us most of the time.

**. . .**

**~~~ {DA PIT} ~~~**

In an underground cavern, the two Toads were hopping up and down pass the Buzzy Beetles. Then they came to a platform suspended over a pit.

B. Toad: Say, I always wonder what kills us in "bottomless" pits.

Y. Toad: I dare you to jump down there with this rope.

B. Toad: You're on!

The blue Toad tied the rope around his waist to have the yellow Toad lower him into the pit. It was dark at first, but when he finally got to the bottom…

B. Toad: What is this, a choir?

What the Toad saw was a bunch of Mario enemies standing around in a circle.

Goomba: Welcome to our transportation tunnels! I and all these other baddies roam around different levels and sing to those unfortunate to fall down one of the pits! Alright guys! 1, 2, 3…

From the top, Yellow Toad could hear Blue Toad scream in agony.

Y. Toad: Are you alright down there?

B. Toad then showed up behind him.

B. Toad: Check for yourself! *shoves Y. Toad down there*

Goomba: Oh goody someone new to sing to!

**. . . **

**~~~ {THE BAD BERRY} ~~~**

Luigi was riding on Yoshi, who was gulping up on the berries on the bushes. Every time he ate 5, out would come an egg with a 1-up.

They then came up to an ominous looking black berry. Luigi was hesitant at first.

Luigi: Yoshi, I don't think you should eat that one!

But of course, Yoshi didn't listen. He stretched out his tongue and gobbled up the berry.

Yoshi: Yummy!

Suddenly, his tummy began to rumble a little bit. Yoshi's expression changed from being satisfied to being disgusted. He clutched his tummy really hard, but it still rumbled.

Yoshi: Oh… I don't feel so well….

Yoshi bent over and grabbed his stomach even harder. Luigi knew something was going to happen, but he was a state of shock, frozen still. Finally, Yoshi couldn't hold it in anymore; he had to let it out.

**PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT TTTTTT!**

The large green cloud of gas spurred all over poor Luigi. Its force was so strong it blew away some of the background props (the bushes, the hills, etc.) It finally stopped after a while, but it left a fog of green gas. All the Goombas and Koopas that inhaled the stench died instantly. Luigi was on the ground with one hand on his throat and the other in the air.

Luigi: Air… I need fresh air!

Yoshi: Excuse me!

**~~~ {THE "BIG" FINAL BATTLE} ~~~**

Mario, Luigi, and the Toads entered the famous "bridge over pit" room, where the evil King Bowser awaits. Oh wait that's right…

Bowser: Wow! For once in my life I knew I could fly as high as an airplane! I can't believe my weight could actually allow me to fly this—oh no.

As if physics reared its ugly head, Bowser suddenly dropped out of the sky.

Meanwhile, back at the castle, the Bros. and Toads were standing around.

B. Toad: What are we going to do now? We can't continue without him!

Y. Toad meanwhile was sneaking over to the button to destroy the bridge, but was stopped by Mario.

Mario: DON'T YOU DARE!

Suddenly, a bunch of Mario baddies entered the room. The Toads instantly recognized them.

Koopa Troopa: Hey look guys! It's our friends that listened to our song! Let's sing to them again!

The chorus attempted to sing again. But Mario and the crew rushed over the button and dropped the baddies in the pit.

All 4: Yeah! *all high five each other as victory cue plays*

Kamek: *disguised as Peach in the cage* There's my cue!

Kamek jumped on his broomstick, and flew out the cage. He grabbed his magic wand and prepared his spell.

Mario: Wait Kamek! DON'T!

It was too late; he had already sprinkled all the magic dust in the pit. He then flew over it to see if it worked.

Kamek: Huh?

The supersized baddies then came from it and knocked Kamek off his broomstick.

Big Goomba: Hey! Now that we're big, do you think we'll be able to sing LOUDER?

Big Koopa Troopa: Let's try! 1, 2, 3…

Combining their horrible singing to their new louder voices causes the whole entire castle the crumble into bits. Smoke came from the rubble as everyone was crushed.

Suddenly, the Koopalings entered the scene.

Morton: Hey! What'd we miss?

Iggy: I can't believe we were left out of the episode!

Wendy: I would've hogged the spotlight anyway… what with my charming beauty!

The others gagged.

Larry: Say, is that King Dad falling from the sky?

Roy: Yeah!

Ludwig: It seems he's been falling for a really long time.

Lemmy: It looks like he's about to fall right on top of—

**THUD!**

Bowser landed on top of his 7 kids. Cracking spine sounds were heard.

Bowser: Yow! Lucky me! My kids we're here to break my fall! Thanks kids!

Koopalings: Your welcome King Dad…

Bowser: Well that's all for today's episode… I guess. This is Bowser, signing off for the Toadally Screwed crew. Good night everybody, and don't forget to review!

**So how'd you enjoy today's episode? Leave your comments/thoughts/ questions in the reviews! See you next time on **_**Toadally Screwed!**_

Bowser Jr.: Why does everyone forget about me? I'm a Koopaling too, right? RIGHT?!


	3. Mario Kart 7

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own any of the Mario franchise (or Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing Transformed, which is mentioned) How many times do I have to tell you?**

Lakitu: Alright everyone get in ready, the episode's about to start!

He was holding a checkered flag, waving it as Mario sped up to him in his kart.

Mario: Hello out there in fan-fiction land! Your favorite plumber is here for another rousing episode of _Toadally Screwed_! This episode, we'll dig deep into the latest Mario Kart game, Mario Kart 7!

Mario punched it on his kart, but a startling noise came from the engine. He tried again, this time the kart exploded.

Lakitu: We got a defective kart over here!

Mario: While I wait for an ambulance, I'd like to thank** dragon19kyoshi** for the suggestion!

_**MARIO KART 7 **_

777777**EXCLUDED FROM THE ROSTER**777777

Waluigi: Hey! What do you mean I'm not in this game?

Mario: I guess you're not that popular anymore?

Waluigi: That's a complete lie! I still have a fanbase! My fan mail room must be piling up right now.

He walks down a hall of doors with the different names on them until he reached the back, with a door with a slip of paper reading "WALUIGI" taped on it. Waluigi opened it up, and there was nothing in there except a bunch of cobwebs, old cleaning supplies, and a window.

Waluigi: Say! There's a letter!

He walked over to pick up a small piece of paper off the floor.

Waluigi: Let's see… _Dear Toadally Screwed crew, I quit…_

Not saying a word, he crumpled up the paper and threw it back on the floor. He stormed out of the room and slammed the door. The taped slip fell off to reveal what the room really was: a janitor's closet.

**. . .**

777777**THE GLIDER**777777

Toad was driving up on Rock-Rock Mountain until he came up to a ramp. At this part, he would be gliding across a huge pit.

He drove over the boost, and he flew into the air. The glider came out, but it was all torn up and tangled.

Toad: This is what I get for crashing into that thorn bushhhhhhhh! *falls towards the ground and lands Wile E. Coyote style*

Director: CUT!

_Take Two_

Toad: Alright, let's try that again.

He came up to the boost again, and he flew up into the air again. The glider activated again, but this time it disconnected off the kart and flew in the air by itself. Toad, with a look of despair, held up a sign that read: **YIPE!**

*Falls to the ground again*

Director: CUT!

_Take Three_

Toad: I'm positive I'll make it this time!

He rode up to the boost, but this time instead of going into the air again, he went into a full circle and hit his head on the boost, causing him to do it again, and again, and again…

Toad: *hits head* Ouch! Did I say I was positive? *hits head* Ouch! I meant positively negative! *hits head* Ouch!

_Take Four_

Toad: NO WAY! I refuse to! I had to pay almost all my salary for hospital bills!

*A large wad of cash is shoved in his face*

Toad: As long as it can pay for the bills then I'll do it!

_The REAL Take Four_

Toad yet again came up to the boost and flew into the air YET again. Unlike the last few times, the glider actually worked this time.

Toad: Hey, I actually might do it this time!

But to his dismay, a thundercloud was in his way. Thinking fast, he flew above it just so he wouldn't be struck with lightning.

Toad: *blows raspberry* Take that, cloud of despair!

But if karma had come to bite him in the butt, the lightning came from the top. It struck the glider reducing it to nothing but ash.

Toad: *holds up a sign that reads: **DO I HAVE A STUNT DOUBLE TO DO ALL THIS?***

*falls to the ground, again*

Director: CUT!

777777**WHEN RACING COLLIDES**777777

Yoshi and Luigi were driving around in Neo Bowser City until they came up to a gate that said: **NO TRESSPASSING**

Yoshi: You know, I always wonder what's through there.

Behind the gate was nothing more than darkness leading up to wherever was deep in there.

Luigi: I dare you to go through there!

Yoshi: But you have to come with!

So they both agreed and revved up their karts. After stepping on the gas, they sped through the gate deep into the darkness to find out what lies in there…

Luigi: Mama Mia… this-a-one big stadium!

Luigi was right. Where they had just entered was none other than a NASCAR racing track.

Luigi: I don't think we're in the Mushroom Kingdom anymore, Yoshi!

*Car comes from behind and knocks Luigi in the air*

Luigi: YAHHHHH!

Yoshi: I'm getting outta here!

Yoshi drove away down the track to escape the fast speeding cars.

Yoshi: Where are the item boxes? Where are the boosts? Why am I asking so many questions when should be speeding up?

*Hits the gas pedal*

The green dinosaur manages to speed up faster than the other cars, but unbeknownst to him he had just past the finish line.

Announcer: And we have a winner… a green dinosaur? But hey his car is pretty neat!

Somebody came up to hand Yoshi a trophy. He took it and stared at it.

Yoshi: Wow, this trophy is bigger than the ones in the Mario Kart races, and it's shinier!

Luigi suddenly lands near him.

Luigi: We could've ended up in a Daytona race track but NOOOO it just had to be NASCAR…

**. . . **

777777**LAKITU FORGETS WHAT TO DO**777777

Wuhu Loop is where the next Mario Kart race is going to start. All the racers are lined up at the start, anxiously waiting for Lakitu to start the race. The cloud riding Koopa flew above them as he brought out the light signal.

*Turns it to red*

Lakitu: On your mark…

*Turns it to yellow*

Lakitu: Get set…

*Cue random rock that lands square on his head*

Lakitu: Yack! That was a real bruise on the noggin! Say, where AM I? WHO am I?

Lakitu circles around in the air trying to regain his memory, while the racers simply sit there in their karts waiting for him to change the light to green.

Lakitu: Yes! Now I remember who I am!

*The racers rejoice*

Lakitu: Yes! I am the referee for Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing Transformed! *speeds off high into the sky*

Director: CUT!

777777**A QUICK BITE AT COCONUT MALL**777777

Coconut Mall was the trendiest mall in the Mushroom Kingdom. The stores were nice, but the restaurants were even better. One of the Mario Kart races was taking place here.

Koopa Troopa was in first place, and he was sure he was going to win. But then, a familiar smell to him sidetracked him.

Koopa: *Sniffs* Yum! That smells like… Pianta Burgers!

He speeds over to a Pianta King to grab one of their famous burgers.

Employee: So that's 5 Pianta Burgers with 2 large Pianta Fries with a 1up Soda.

Koopa: Yep! And I'll have that to go!

Koopa takes the food and continues his lead in first.

Employee: Hey… that guy didn't pay for his food!

Director: CUT!

Mario: Well, I guess that's all for today's episode.

Lakitu then returns, still having no clue who he is.

Lakitu: Say sir, what is this "episode" you speak of?

Mario: Yeahhh, I think you should go lie down somewhere.

Lakitu: Yeah you're right. Well, I'm… who am I again?

Mario: *face palms* Lakitu…

Lakitu: Oh. Well I'm Lakitu … wait what is this again?

Mario: FORGET IT!

**How'd you enjoy this episode? Leave your thoughts/comments in the reviews and we'll see you again next time on… wait what is this again?**

Mario: TOADALLY SCREWED!

**Oh right.**


	4. Super Princess Peach

Disclaimer:

**I do not own the Mario franchise. How many times do I have to tell you?**

"Welcome back to another episode of _Toadally Screwed!_ I'm Mario, welcoming you to—"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Peach flies in with her parasol.

"Hey! You're not going to forget me, are you?" She asked. "I'm the star of today's episode!"

Mario rolled his eyes. "Yeah… well I was about to tell everyone that we stopped using the script format for this story, but since you RUDELY interrupted me—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah we all heard you. Anyway, today's blooper package comes from a game starring the lovely Princess Peach, which is ME!" Peach said giggling.

"Super Princess Peach... the game where I'm the one getting kidnapped and she has to save me! Remember ladies and gentlemen, this comes from the genius of Nintendo!"

A messenger enters and hands him a letter.

**DEAR MARIO,**

**Make one more comment about us and you're fired! But don't worry, SEGA's may have an opening for you! *snicker***

**FROM (the geniuses) NINTENDO**

"SEGA…" Mario said crumpling the paper up in his hand.

Peach chuckles a little bit.

"Stupid *****!" Mario swore under his breath.

"By the way, **Owen96 **is to blame for suggesting this! Let's set our torches ablaze and destroy his account!" Bowser said blowing fire on a torch.

_**SUPER PRINCESS PEACH**_

*****PERRY GOES BAD*****

Peach and the magical talking umbrella Perry were walking around Hoo's Woods when they came up to some baddies.

"Come on Perry! You'll have to open up so I can attack these guys!" Peach said trying to open the umbrella up.

Perry, however, wouldn't come open. "I refuse to!"

Peach shook him a little bit, but he didn't even budge open. "Why won't you?"

"Because I'm tired of being your "weapon"! Every time, it's **WHACK-WHACK-WHACK!** It's like I'm taking more of the damage than those guys are! Not to mention you used me to scrape gum off your shoes! Well guess what? I'M SICK OF IT!" Perry whined.

"You useless little ^&%#!" Peach cried.

"Actually, YOU'RE the useless one, princess!" Perry growled. "I should be the one to get rid of YOU!"

Peach scoffed. "Oh now will you?"

She regretted saying that, because Perry had opened up around her, trapping her in the middle. He then closed in on her and began crushing her.

"Hey! What are you doing? Let me out this instant!" Peach demanded.

Perry got tighter on her, and he heard bones crack. Soon, he saw drips of red come from inside. It formed a puddle under the now crushed princess.

"It may feel disgusting… BUT I LIKE IT!" Perry laughed maniacally. There were red stains getting bigger on his inside. "That's for being a *****, princess!"

"CUT!" said the director.

*****BLINDED BY RAGE*****

Peach was walking around Shriek Mansion when it got really dark. There were no other candles around, so she used the next best thing: her rage vibe.

"Ah yes! With the fiery passion of rage surrounding me, I can illuminate this room!" she said.

But then, a Boo flew by.

"Hey slow down there! Haven't you heard that rage blinds you?" he complained.

"But that's just a meaning!" she shot back.

"No it isn't!"

"Yes it is!"

"It's not!"

"It IS!"

"No it's not!"

"YES! It IS!"

"NO IT IS NOT!"

"IT FREAKING IS!" Peach hadn't noticed during this back and forth nonsense that her fire had grown bigger and more "blinding".

Peach covered her eyes as they began to melt. "The fire, it burns!" She rolled all over the floor but the fire had completely consumed her, reducing her to nothing but ash.

The Boo snickered. "Sucker…"

"CUT!" the director yelled.

*****EMENIES HAVE FEELINGS TOO*****

Peach and Perry walked around the grassy area when they came up to a Goomba.

Perry smirked. "Oh look at the pathetic little creature! No wonder Mario always stomps you twerps!"

The Goomba turned around and glared at Peach. "Are you calling me a pathetic little twerp?" he asked. He was getting redder by the minute.

"She was actually, and she said you should go jump off a cliff!" Perry lied.

Peach tried to shut him up, to no avail. "Perry, are you trying to get me killed… again?!"

The Goomba was bright red at this minute. "WELL IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK…" he then turned blue. "WELL… _you're right! I am a pathetic twerp and I should go jump off a cliff!_" he said sobbing uncontrollably.

Suddenly, another Goomba hopped from behind a bush. "HEY! Did you make my brother think about committing suicide?"

Peach was about to say something, but Perry interrupted. "Yes! She also said you and the rest of the baddies in this game don't have the guts to battle her!"

"Alright then… HEY GUYS! IT'S GO TIME!" the Goomba yelled.

Out of nowhere, all the enemies in the game surrounded Peach. "Enjoy your beating, princess!" Perry said opening himself up and flying away. Peach nervously chuckled.

"Um… no hard feelings?" she said.

All of them pounced on the princess and began beating her up senselessly. After finished, all they left was a skeleton of the poor princess.

"Funny… I feel empty now." she said.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

*****THE CRYING GAME*****

Peach and Perry were once again walking down the grassy area trying to find their way around, when Perry yet again got another devious idea.

"Say Peach, do you want to hear a REALLY sad story?" he asked.

Peach looked reluctant at first. "No thanks. I'm not in the mood for one."

Perry told the story anyway.

"Once upon the time there was this little boy who had just enough money to buy himself some milk. As he exited the store, he clumsily tripped and all the milk spilled down a sewer vent. So the boy had pretty much wasted all his money he worked so hard for just to become a pointless goal, THE END!" Perry said.

Normally, Peach would find that a sappy story. But because of the Vibe Scepter, she couldn't resist letting her gloom kick in. Her eyes got watery, and she was sniffling loudly.

"Oh yeah, and did I forget to tell you that the milk was for his grandmother's cereal?" Perry added.

Peach couldn't hold it in anymore, she had to let it out.

"**WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" **she wailed.

Floods of tears spilled out of her eyes, and the whole entire area was covered with Peach's salty tears. As she continued, the water spilled out into different areas.

"So… does it usually take her this long to get here?" Bowser said to the Army Hammer Bro. But before he could respond, a wave of teary water gushed through the castle and they were caught in it.

Meanwhile, deep in one of the dungeon, Mario and Luigi were tied up. "This has to be the lamest idea for a game ever—"

**WOOOSH! **The water carried the bros off.

"I sure hope the princess is alright!" Toadsworth said back at the castle

**WOOOSH!**

Meanwhile, at the main Nintendo Headquarters, a conference was taking place. A guy was standing in front of a white board. He was drawing up a new idea.

"Alright gentlemen, I have a new idea for our next Mario game. We could have a sequel to Super Princess Peach where Peach returns to Subcon to defeat a revived Wart and –"

**WOOOSH! **The water carries them all away.

Owen96 was sitting at his computer reading the Super Princess Peach chapter of Kris0820's _Toadally Screwed_ when he came across a disturbing part.

"What the… Owen96 was sitting at his computer reading the Super Princess Peach chapter of Kris0820's _Toadally Screwed _when the gush of water came and carried him away—"

**WOOOSH!**

"CUT!" the director yelled.

**WOOOSH!**

Mario then came in and unplugged a drain, emptying all the water.

"Well, thanks to Princess Sobs-a-lot, she got us all washed up!" he said.

Peach walked in carrying a box of tissues.

"I… *sniff* sorry that I flooded *sniff* the place *blow into tissue*. It was just that Perry's story was so *blows again* SAD!"

Perry rolled his eyes. "What a crybaby…"

"This is Peach… *sniffs and blows* signing off for the _Toadally Screwed _crew… *sniffs*. Good night everybody… *blows* and don't forget to review!"

**Like today's episode (and the change of format)? Leave your thoughts/comments in the reviews! See you next time on **_**Toadally Screwed!**_


	5. Super Mario World

**Disclaimer:**

**I don't own the Mario franchise, Jurassic Park, Superman, Dr. Eggman (from Sonic) or the Super Mario World cartoon owned by DIC Entertainment (along with its characters). How many times do I have to tell you?**

"Say Mario, is there any thought of an intro song for this fan fiction?" Luigi asked.

"If I have any thought on singing we can save it for a musical." Mario said rolling his eyes. "Where'd you get that idea from?"

"Well you know… well… uh… I was reading this other thing and… I think I'll just stop talking." Luigi said stammering.

"Good. Anyway, welcome back to _Toadally Screwed_, today's bloopers come from my smash hit game on the original SNES; Super Mario World!" the potbellied plumber exclaimed.

"So, which reviewer suggested this one?" Luigi asked.

"No request for this one, so now we don't have to go out hunting for them." Mario said.

"Alright then, let's get this party started!" Luigi said jumping for joy.

_**SUPER MARIO WORLD**_

**|THE WRONG ISLAND|**

Mario, Luigi, and Princess Peach were all on a vacation to Dinosaur Island, where they would be treated to the greetings of the multi-colored Yoshies and the different sub areas like Chocolate Island and Forest of Illusion.

"Luigi, are you sure you read that map right?" Peach asked. They were all riding in a balloon to the island, but now they're lost because of "the master of maps".

"No need to worry princess! I know how to read these things with my eyes closed!" Luigi said with of course his eyes shut. It really also didn't help he was holding the thing upside down. "Ah! Here it is, lower us here!"

Mario pulled down the rope as they drifted down towards a strange looking island. It looked deserted, but it looked like some kind of reservation or park.

Mario hesitated as they reached the ground. They were surrounded by stone-gate walls. A huge gate blocked them from leaving on foot. "I don't know bro… this looks like a different place. Are you sure you read that map right?" Mario said uneasy.

Luigi stepped out of the balloon and looked around. It didn't look light the vibrant Dinosaur Land they were expecting. It looked grisly and grim.

Suddenly, a huge shadow flew overhead, startling the princess.

"What in the world?" Peach said. The shadow came by again, and this time the figure came down towards her. "EEEEK!" she screeched as it swooped her up.

"MAMA MIA! That's-a-one big bird!" Mario pointed up to the sky at a pterodactyl that has Peach in it claws. "Come on Luigi! We have to save Peach!" Mario said climbing up what looked like a wall up to the top. He jumped up with his fists in the air to hit the bird. It released Peach as Luigi caught her in his arms.

"Nice work!" Mario said. But Luigi and Peach were nervously pointing to what Mario had climbed up. It was a menacing T-Rex, and it roared really loud.

"Wow, this guy seems pretty teed off!" Mario said. "YAHHHHHH!"

The trio tried to run away from the beast as his footsteps caused massive rumbling. "What kind of nightmare-inducing island is this?" Luigi said. They all crashed through the gate as they left the strange place known as "Jurassic Park".

"Now that I think about it, this dinosaur looks cooler than Yoshi!" Mario said running.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

**|A DROP TO DOOM|**

Mario was facing off against Wendy O. Koopa in her Chocolate Island castle. She was popping in and out of different pipes, and Mario had to jump on her at the right time. After a few hits, she would fall into the lava below.

"Ouch! Pesky plumber!" Wendy cried as Mario bounced off of her. She lost her grip on the pipe and she slipped down through the other end. Mario expected to hear her scream as she plunged into the lava, but he heard nothing. No scream no splash.

Mario looked puzzled. "Is this supposed to happen, or is it a glitch?"

Even the director was confused. "I … I'm speechless…"

"I might be able to solve this mystery!" Ludwig said. "This isn't one of the regular disconnected pipes, it's a warping one. So that means that she was taken somewhere else."

Mario and the director looked at each other still clueless. But all Ludwig just did was shrug. "Well I wouldn't worry about her, she was kind of a ***** anyway. " Both of them agreed, and walked away.

"Oh yeah, I forgot! CUT!" the director yelled.

**|THE YOSHIES ARE REVOLTING|**

Morton and Roy were hiding away Yoshi eggs in the castle. More like, Roy was doing all the work and Morton was yapping away.

"Can't you go any faster? By then the Mario Bros will show up and ruin our plan just like they were doing for the past weeks! Or months! Or even years! I mean seriously all they do is come and stomp on us like we're cockroaches! But you can't kill cockroaches, as in you can't kill us! But that's the thing I don't understand! We get dropped into lava and blow up or something like that! Furthermore…"

Roy shoved a Yoshi egg in Morton's mouth. "Shut up, Big Mouth!"

Morton **despised **that nickname the other Koopalings gave him. He spit the Yoshi egg out and responded back.

"Why don't you make me? Bully!"

While they were going 'Super Smash Bros'- style on each other, the egg Morton had spit out cracked. A red Yoshi popped out. "Huh? Could it be… freedom at last?" he said looking around the environment.

He looked over and saw his capturers battling each other. Figuring this was his chance, went over to the other eggs and began to crack them open.

"Come back here you piece of &$#& !" Roy screamed as he lunged at his brother. Morton knocked him off into tree. Morton ducked as Roy charged at him, thus tripping him. At first, he laid still on the ground. Morton knew he had the upper hand at this point.

"You see! This is why you should've let me finish talking—"Roy got up and grabbed Morton by the neck.

"WHY DON'T YOU SHUT YOUR YAP BEFORE SHOVE—"said Roy at first, then he heard the stomping of feet coming towards them. It was the Yoshies, who had all escaped from their eggs.

"Today we revolt, GET THEM MY BRETHEREN!" the red Yoshi said pointing towards the two Koopa Kids. All of them ran towards them as the Koopas screamed in agonizing pain.

**AHHHHH! YAHHHHH! GRAHHHHH! NYAHHHHHH!**

**. . .**

Mario exited the castle with Yoshi egg in hand. He destroyed the castle and it crumbled to the ground.

The red clad plumber wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Man that was a hard one, no Koopaling at the end though, weird."

He set the egg down as it began to hatch. But instead of a Yoshi, it was Morton and Roy, battered and bruised from the revolting Yoshies earlier. That whole time spent in the egg, Morton wouldn't shut up.

"See? This is the problem! Everything happens to us! First we get into a fight, then a mob of Yoshies kick our butts into submission, and THEN we get stuck in an egg for 2 hours until Mr. Big Shot here comes to save US! Yeah, the good guy saves US! THE BAD GUYS! I mean seriously, what kind of plot twist is that! It's the most clichéd one of I've ever heard of! Also for the record…"

Roy grabbed Mario. "Please do whatever you want to me, but please don't put me with him EVER AGAIN!" he said laughing manically.

"Say, I thought I was the demented one!" Iggy said.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

**|A SHORT HISTORY LESSON|**

(This blooper is from the SMW cartoon produced by DIC)

Yoshi and Oogtar the Caveboy were walking in Dome City when a disturbing thought came to Yoshi's mind.

"Say Oogtar, I just realized something. Dinosaurs didn't live the same time as caveman!"

Oogtar scratched his head. "You might have a point dino dude. Something about what you said does sound true!"

"CUT! You weren't supposed to know that!" the director said.

"Well, he is right! If this cartoon is supposed to be having shoehorned-in lessons, then why can't we tell the viewers the facts?" Yoshi argued.

"Because the kids are supposed to figure that out on their own! The producers at DIC thought anything else but revealing that would teach kids more!" the director said.

"That's it I'm out of here! I quit! This has to be the biggest load of dino #& $ I've ever stared in!" Oogtar said storming off set.

"HEY YOU CAN'T QUIT! YOU'RE CONTRACT—"the director yelled but was cut off by Yoshi, who swallowed him with his tongue. He then came out in an egg.

"Geez, that director sure is an *******!" he said.

**|THE GREAT CAPE-R|**

Mario was flying across Yoshi's Island in his Cape form, collecting all the coins he came across. Then, as he was off guard, something as fast as a speeding bullet flew right passed him.

"Whoa! I didn't know Superman was in this game!" he said. But then, it turned out, it was an ordinary Koopa Troopa with a cape as well. Mario had seen those a lot of times, so it was no surprise to him.

But then, he saw a Goomba with a cape flying by. Now it was starting to get a little weird to him. Then he saw a Piranha Plant, a Rex, a Pokey, AND a Reznor all with capes.

"I can never understand the backlash of my own power-ups." he said.

Suddenly, pretty much every other character flew by him. ALL of them with capes. Mario gawked at all this.

"I really need to stop flying near the sun…" Mario said slapping his forehead. "I wonder what everyone would've looked like with…tanooki suits."

"CUT!" the director said coming out of the Yoshi egg. "Alright who gave everyone a cape feather? Because I wanted one!

**|BOWSER VS. EGGMAN|**

It was the final battle, Mario against Bowser in his Koopa Clown Car.

"Hey Mario, I'm ready for you!" Bowser taunted as he flew above the plumber.

Suddenly, a flying machine flew up to Bowser. In it was a rotund man whose body was in the shape of an egg. "Hey! HEY! You stole my flying mobile ideas!" It was none other than Dr. Robotnik (or Eggman if you prefer).

"What are you talking about fatty? I didn't steal your idea! This is my own schematic blueprint for the perfect flying machine!" Bowser argued. "Besides, at least I'm not defeated as easily as you are!"

"What are YOU talking about? I have several attachments to my machine that could kick yours in the behind any day!" Eggman said pushing a button that a released a wrecking ball from the bottom.

Bowser laughed it. "Oh please, I have a better weapon then yours!"

He ducked in the Koopa Clown Car and turned it on its side. Like a cannon, it shot out a steel ball. It destroyed the wrecking ball in only a split-second. "GAHHHHH!" the doctor screeched.

"And that's not all! I also have a better defense!" Bowser tossed out two Mechakoopas. They wandered around like mindless lackeys.

It was now Eggman's turn to laugh. "HA-HA-HA! You call those robots minions! Badniks, come on out here!" In a minute, two robotic minions showed up, each with blasters in their hands. They fired at the Mechakoopas, reducing them to nothing but scrap metal.

Bowser was enraged. "Nobody does that to my minions but ME!" He pulled back, and then unleashed a huge fireball on the two Badniks. They were now reduced to nothing but ashes.

So the two of them continued arguing about who was better, who had the better nemesis, which had the better stronghold, which had the better boss fights… Mario and Peach were just standing there watching them rabble on.

"Should we just go while we still can?" Peach asked.

"Nah, I want to see the next villain who joins in!" Mario said eating popcorn.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

"Man, we sure went all out on this one!" Mario said.

"Yeah… this one sure had a lot of screw ups!" Luigi said.

Mario then remembered something. "Say Ludwig, where did Wendy end up getting teleported to anyway?"

Ludwig shrugged. "Like I said, not my concern. She was a ***** and always will be. Though I actually do wonder where that pipe took her…"

**MEANWHILE…**

Back at Jurassic Park, Wendy was being chased by three Velociraptors, who were really starving for some food. Particularly the one they were chasing after.

"Aw come on guys! You don't want to eat me! I have brothers who are much tastier than me!" she said.

One of the Velociraptors leaned in and bit off her pink bow. He swallowed it and licked his mouth, hoping to catch the main course.

"I'm Wendy O. Koopa, signing off for the _Toadally Screwed _crew. Good night everybody, and don't forget to review! YAHHHHHHHHH!"

**How'd we do? Give us your thoughts/comments in the reviews, and we'll see you next time on **_**Toadally Screwed!**_

"DINOBUNGA!" Oogtar yelled.

"_Seriously?"_ Yoshi responded to the uncalled for dino pun.


	6. Luigi's Mansion

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own the Mario franchise or Ghostbusters. How many times do I have to tell you?**

"Are you frightened yet?" Professor E. Gadd said in his lab. "Because this episode will give you chills beyond shivers… whatever that means. Today's episode of _Toadally Screwed_ is all about the fright fest that is Luigi's Mansion!"

Luigi was already trembling with fear. "W-Will there be any g-ghosts? Because I don't have the Poltergust 3000 with me!" the green clad plumber said. He was quaking in his boots.

Suddenly, a Gold Ghost popped out of nowhere and frightened Luigi. "YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Luigi screamed running away.

"Get out of here, you spooky spirit!" E. Gadd took out the Poltergust and sucked up the ghost. Luigi stopped running when he saw the ghost was gone. "Heh, so I must've left it here!

"You did, I mistook it for my vacuum cleaner and used it to clean the rubbish under my refrigerator. I hope the ghost enjoys the company of lint and dust!" E. Gadd laughed. "Anyway, it's time to get this episode started!"

A Speedy Sprit rushed in and knocked the Poltergust right off of E. Gadd. It broke when it hit the ground and released the Gold Ghost, along with the dust.

"ARGGGGH! Now look what you pests done! You've got dust flying all around my lab and now's it's getting on my inventions… where's my vacuum cleaner? "E. Gadd mumbled as he left looking for it.

"**Pixelized Pikale and Company** was the reviewer who suggested this! Let's make sure we drop off some ghosts at his/her house!" Luigi said poking his from behind a corner.

_**LUIGI'S MANSION**_

!**MARIO POLO**!

Luigi crept around down the hallway with a flashlight in hand. He was passing by a lot of doors; hoping one wouldn't smash into his face. He then froze when thunder struck outside.

"_Mario?"_ he called, in hopes his brother would respond. He continued down, trying to retain the living daylights scared out of him from that thunder.

He called out for Mario again. "Mario?" but there was still no respond back. He kept going down the hallway until…

**BOOM!** Thunder cracked louder than before.

Luigi, now scared out of his wits, jumped and started running down the hall. His teeth were chattering as ran as fast as a Speedy Spirit could fly away.

**MARRRRRRIIIIIIOOOOOOOOO!** Luigi screamed as he ran down the hall.

**WHAM! **

A door opened up right in front of Luigi, and knocked him right off his feet. "Polo!" said Mario, stepping out of the doorway.

"CUT!" the director yelled. "Mario! You're supposed to be in your painting!"

"Yeah, but I was bored so I got out and I heard Luigi calling my name. So I decided to play along." Mario said. "Where is Luigi anyway?"

The director pointed to one of the windows, which had been shattered because Luigi had been flung out it.

"LUIGI!" Mario yelled.

"_Polo..." _said an injured Luigi from outside.

!**WHO YA GONNA CALL?**!

In the room with telephones, Luigi was catching ghosts that were roaming around. After sucking up the last one, he was getting ready to leave the room when one of the telephones rung.

"Hello?" Luigi said.

"Yes, is Imso Stew Pid there?" said someone on the other line.

Luigi slammed the phone back on the hook. "Prank call…" then the next phone rang.

"Hello? Who is this?" Luigi said again.

"YOUR MOM!" yelled the caller.

Luigi did the same thing as before. "Come to think of it, I haven't seen my mom in a long time… heck I even forgot what she looked like!"

The third phone rang. Luigi, irate, picked up the phone.

"Hello?" Luigi said harshly picking up the phone.

"**IS YOUR HOUSE BEING INFESTED WITH UNWANTED SPIRTS? ARE POLTERGIESTS HAUNTING YOUR TOILET, ARE MARSHMALLOW CREATURES RUNNING AMOK IN YOUR BACKYARD, OR ARE SLIMEY SPIRTS SLIMING YOU? THEN CALL THE GHOSTBUSTERS, AND WE'LL BE THERE TO BUST US SOME GHOSTS!"**

Luigi put the phone down for a minute to think about it. Then a smile extended across his face. He brought the phone back up.

"Yes, my address is…"

**AN HOUR LATER**

E. Gadd was running test in his lab when he stumbled upon Luigi sleeping near a pile of gears.

"Luigi! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the mansion catching ghosts!" he said panicked.

"I know, but I've hired some guys to do the job!" Luigi said getting up towards the door. "They should be here in 3…2…1…"

As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. Luigi opened it up, and standing there were Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler, and Winston Zeddemore, otherwise known as the Ghostbusters.

"Yeah, we received a call for a mansion full of ghosts?" Peter said.

"Are you high in experience?" E. Gadd said.

"Oh yeah!" Egon said. "We've defeated a Sumerian shape-shifting god of destruction who took the form of a giant marshmallow creature and his two demons named Zuul and Vinz Clortho!

E. Gadd's just stood there in awe. "I was so missing out…"

"CUT!" the director yelled. "Who's messing with the telephone lines again?"

!**POWER BAD**!

Luigi went downstairs to the basement to turn the main power back on because of a major blackout. "Ah here we are!"

He went over to the switch to pull it down, but it broke because he pulled it down WAY to hard.

"Um… this is awkward." Luigi said. "Say anybody got a spare?"

"CUT!" the director yelled.

_Take Two_

Luigi again went to the main power switch to activate it. But he got different results this time. He got a massive electric shock when he pulled it down.

"YOWYOWYOWYOWYOW!" said the zapped Luigi.

A Boo flew from inside the machine to laugh at Luigi. "HA! That was absolutely shocking!" He laughed for a little bit then came to a realization.

"You know, that actually sounded funnier in my head." he said frowning with his tongue out.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

!**A QUICK BRIEFING**!

**DEEP IN THE SECRET ALTAR…**

"Alright everyone settle down! Now I'm going to review with you all to make sure you know what to do when Luigi comes to get the special key from you!" King Boo said to the four boss ghosts Luigi would soon face.

"I wanna play with my rocking horses!" Chauncey, the baby ghosts whined.

"You'll get to play with those &%^# rocking horses when you fight Luigi! Such impatient brat you are!" Boo spurred.

Bogmire moaned and groaned.

"I have no idea what you're saying…" Boo said peeved.

Bogmire moans again.

"Seriously, why do I even recruit you morons?" King Boo said frowning.

Boolossus bounced hard on the ground, shaking the room.

King Boo was even more furious. "Cut it out you overgrown buffoon!"

Boolossus then separated into 15 regular Boos that blew raspberries at the king. "How dare you!" Boo yelled.

He turned to Vincent Van Gore. "Alright Gore here's your key to guard." Gore took the key and then frowned.

"This is all I get, a key to this place, no? I could be better off painting my creations, no?" he whined.

"If you don't quit with the French accent you can join Mario in his painting, no?" Boo mocked.

"Critics…" Gore said disappearing.

King Boo face palmed at the buffoonery of his minions. "I really could've done this by myself but NO..."

"You know you're talking to yourself." Mario said in his painting.

**. . . **

!**HOW TO TRULY EMPTY YOU POLTERGUST**!

"It's all over, Boo!" Luigi said sucking in King Boo with the Poltergust. The king couldn't fight the force, and he ended up getting sucked up away.

"NOOOOOOO!" the king said from inside.

"Now to bring you to E. Gadd's lab for—"Luigi said, but then a noise came from the Poltergust. Smoke emitted from the inside. Luigi tried working it, but it was jammed.

"Oh geez…" Luigi said walking back downstairs from the Roof. He then came out the front entrance and went near a trash can. Luigi then hit the "blow" button and aimed the tube in the garbage. Out came a whole bunch of stupid stuff that he had caught up while catching ghosts.

"Ah, there we go!" Luigi said looking upon the mountain of trash he had emptied out. "I really hope the garbage men can get all this!"

"CUT!" the director said.

"Well I guess this wraps up this episode!" Luigi said.

"HEY!" say a female voice. It was Melody Pianissima, the mansion's pianist. "You can't end the episode right now!"

Luigi was puzzled. "But there's nothing else planned for this episode!"

Melody laughed. "Oh, but I have something. It's my piano solo finish…**OF YOUR DOOM! **Hmm, that actually sounded more threatening in my head…"

She flew over to her piano and started playing like mad. Her piano sheets came alive, of course, and went after poor Luigi.

"**YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**" Luigi screamed running away from the demon sheets.

"Sergei Rachmaninoff, (a famous Russian pianist) eat your heart out!" Melody said playing the piano harder and faster. "Hmmm, that actually sounded more triumphant in my head…"

Suddenly, the Ghostbusters abruptly showed up. "Come on guys, let's nab us a pianist!" Ray said as they shot their proton beams.

Meanwhile, Luigi was still trying to escape the piano sheets.

"I'm Luigi, signing off for the _Toadally Screwed _crew. Good night everybody, and don't forget to review!"

Not paying attention, Luigi bumped into one of the Ghostbusters, causing him to cross his stream with another one's.

"Oh no! Don't you know crossing the streams is bad? Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light!" Egon warned.

But it was too late… as for now who know what became of everyone, but until then…

_**GOOD NIGHT**__**…**_

**So how'd we do? Leave your thoughts/comments/questions in the reviews and we'll see you next time on Toadally Screwed!**


	7. Super Mario 64

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own any of the Mario franchise or the infamous "Rick Roll'd" meme. How many times do I have to tell you?**

"Welcome back to _Toadally Screwed!_ As usual, I'm Mario, showing you the many screw ups of my famous games!" the red clad plumber said.

"Yeah, so for today's episode, we'll dig deep into Super Mario 64, the game that helped leap Mario into the world of 3D!" Luigi said.

Yoshi then entered the scene. "Oh hey Yoshi, are you going to join us?"

"Oh I can't, I have to stand on the castle's roof and give out a stupid message from the game's staff!" Yoshi said angrily.

Luigi then thought of something. "Wait a minute… I'm not in the N64 version! I'm only in the DS remake!" With that, Luigi suddenly vanished.

"EEK!" Mario said jumping.

"Oh and one more thing, **lady of zsgolla** suggested we do this ****! Let's go grab the killer piano and send it to her as a token of appreciation!" Yoshi said.

_**SUPER MARIO 64 **_

646464646464**BRICK (WALL) JOKE**646464646464

Mario enters in the castle, and as soon as he closes the door… nothing. No laughing from Bowser, no Toad to greet him, nothing.

"Hmmm… well it must be glitch. Hope Nintendo knows how to fix it." Mario muttered. He entered the room with the painting that leads to Bob-omb Battlefield. He stood in front the painting and leaped into it.

**BANG!**

Mario yelped in pain as he bounced off the painting. Suddenly, he heard Bowser's "MUHUHUHUHUHU!" laugh, along with a small squeaky laugh. Toad then walked from behind a curtain.

"Ha! We really got you!" Toad said. "Nice work with the bricks, Bowser!"

Bowser's voice boomed from above. "Thanks, one of my finer tricks!"

Mario face palmed. "For a minute there the title of this blooper actually makes sense! Not the way I expected it to, but it works (in a way)."

"CUT!" the director yelled.

646464646464**YOSHI'S TROLLIN'**646464646464

"Hmmm, I wonder what's up on the roof…" Mario asked. He knew he had to use the cannon to get up there, but doing all this was too much work. He decided to use the Moon Jump (only accessed through cheat devices).

When he got up there, he saw Yoshi standing up there. "Ah Mario, it's about time you got up here, a little early though." He saw Yoshi smirking a little bit. "Now here's a special message from the Super Mario 64 Team! Just jump into this pipe… heh!"

The potbellied plumber couldn't resist, he jumped into the pipe to await the message being given to him…

"Wait a minute… what is this?" Mario yelped.

_(Insert long beat)_

"WHO IS THIS DANCING GUY?" Mario exclaimed seeing a guy moving side to side next to a microphone. "OH NO, IT CAN'T BE… NOT YOU!" the plumber screamed.

_**Never gonna give you up**_

_**Never gonna let you down**_

_**Never gonna run around and desert you**_

_**Never gonna make you cry**_

_**Never gonna say goodbye**_

_**Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you**_

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Mario yelled as he scrambled back up the pipe. "Somebody please wake me from my nightmare!" The plumber jumped out and ran right off the roof straight through the green hills.

Yoshi snickered. "What a fool. Too bad he didn't come back for the 100 extra lives!"

Mario suddenly came back. "100 LIVES WHERE ARE THEY?"

"Right in here!" Yoshi pointed to the dreaded pipe again. Without hesitation, Mario jumped into the pipe again.

"Man, what do they feed that guy, gullible soup?" Yoshi snarked.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

646464646464**PAINTINGS OF IRONY (1)**646464646464

Mario ran up to the painting of Lethal Lava Land and jumped into it, but instead bounced off of it burned to a crisp by the picture.

"YOW! That burned!" Mario yelped rolling around in the water. The flame on the picture snickered.

"_Burn baby burn!"_ it sung.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

646464646464**A BATTLE GONE WRONG**646464646464

"So long, King Bowser!" Mario said throwing Bowser into the last spiked mine. It didn't blow up though, instead Bowser ended up having the spikes go right into his stomach.

"ACK!" was the sound Bowser made when he came into contact with the spikes. Mario and the director just looked at each other.

"Is this supposed to happen?" Mario said panicked.

"Um… CUT… I guess…" the director stammered.

_Take Two_

"So long, King Bowser!" Mario said throwing Bowser into the spiked mine. As soon as he made contact with the mine, the WHOLE arena blew up in a fiery fashion.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mario and Bowser screamed as they flew into the air and then back down.

Meanwhile, back outside the castle, Toad fishing in the moat when the two landed into the water.

**SPLASH!**

Toad shook the water off of him. "I guess it was a bad time for fishing. The weather said nothing about raining plumbers and Koopas!" he said sarcastically.

"CUT! Someone hand me a towel!" the director said drenched in water.

646464646464**THE PAINTINGS OF IRONY (2)**646464646464

Mario ran up to the painting leading to Bob-omb Battlefield, but as soon as he came into contact with Bob-omb on the picture, it blew up!

"YAHHHHHHH!" Mario shrieked as he flew into the wall. "Seriously, who creates these stupid paintings?!"

"CUT!" the director yelled.

646464646464**NEVER TRUST A RABBIT**646464646464

Mario was in the castle's basement when he came across a gold rabbit.

"Must not be late for my date, tea time doesn't last forever!" the rabbit said hoping away. Mario gave chase to the furry animal as it bounced around in the tunnels. Finally, it got tired.

Mario dove right into it. "Gotcha!" he said in triumph. The rabbit tried to squirm out of his hands, but couldn't escape.

"Unhand me brute! I'm trying to get to my destination!" he demanded.

"I hear you have a power star you're keeping, I need it to continue!" Mario answered.

The rabbit was told to keep the star away from the plumber, so he needed to come up with a lie to escape Mario's grasp, and get to tea.

"Hey, why do you need a star from me? I know a secret wall that leads to a top secret area filled with over 100 Power Stars!" the rabbit fibbed.

Mario's eyes lit up. No more being blown up by Bob-ombs, no more Whomps trying to flatten him, and especially bypassing all those other worlds.

"Wait a minute… secret wall? Doesn't that lead to Shifting Sand Land?" he asked.

"Do you want to know the secret or not?" the rabbit asked impatiently. "The wall's right over there!"

Mario followed the rabbit's directions and jump right through the secret wall. He found himself in very dark area. But it all seemed too familiar to him.

"Say, haven't I already been here?" Mario asked puzzled. Lights then came on all of a sudden, and Mario felt a chill up his spine. "Oh no… it's not dancing boy again?!"

(_Insert long beat)_

_**Never gonna give you up**_

_**Never gonna let you down**_

_**Never gonna run around and desert you**_

_**Never gonna make you cry**_

_**Never gonna say goodbye**_

_**Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you**_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Mario screamed.

The rabbit, hearing his screams, snickered. "What a sucker. Gullible soup must be what he eats for breakfast! HA!"

"CUT!" the director yelled.

646464646464**MOON JUMPING LEADS TO PROBLEMS**646464646464

"Wee! This is fun!" Mario said moon jumping around. He launched himself around like he was actually on the moon. "Hey! I wonder if I could jump over the castle!"

Mario scrunched down, and launched himself in the air. However, an airplane came and he got caught up in the turbines.

**BRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZ!**

"AGGGH!" the plumber said torn to shreds. He continued falling, but then a flock of birds came and knocked him around.

"$#& %^ birds!" Mario yelled as he still fell. He finally came back to near the castle, heading right for the pole. Trying to make a decent landing on his feet, he moved his legs a little bit apart, but didn't know he was heading right straight down into the pole.

**KSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!**

"ERK-OUCH!" Mario yelped as slid down the pole. It went right through him, pretty badly. "Ok, now I understand why the Moon Jump isn't available in the actual game! ACK! This hurts in places I never knew I had!"

"CUT!" the director yelled.

"So… ouch… that's all for today's episode…!" Mario said in a full body cast. "I don't know what's worse, listening to that guy's song or getting a pole shoved up my a—"

"Hey Mario! I need your help on something!" Yoshi asked. Mario limped over to the green dinosaur standing next to a shipping crate. "What is it?" Mario asked restively.

"Do you know **lady of zsgolla**'s address? I need to figure it out so I can ship the killer piano to her house!" Yoshi said rubbing his hands together.

The giant box then started shaking viciously. Yoshi cracked out a whip and snapped it at the box. "Down boy, down!" he yelled. This didn't help, as it only made the piano angrier. It busted out of the box and roared at Mario.

"Wait! Don't chase after me! I didn't snap the whip!" Mario said limping away at top speed, with the piano at hot pursuit.

"Great, now I need something else to send as a "thank you". Until then, I'm Yoshi, signing off for the _Toadally Screwed _crew. Good night everybody, and don't forget to review… or I'll send the piano after you! Just right after I catch it!" Yoshi said chasing after the piano with the whip.

**So how'd you enjoy today's episode? Leave your thoughts/comments/ questions in the reviews and we'll see you next time of **_**Toadally Screwed!**_

"Sit! Heel! Oh man, how do you get a piano to 'B-still'?" Yoshi said still cracking his whip at the runaway piano.


	8. Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own the Mario franchise. How many times do I have to tell you?**

"This is Popple speaking, see? This is the newest episode of Kris0820's _Toadally Screwed_, and in this episode I star in, you hear?" the thief said with that huge grin (as usual).

"Popple's still supporting his big ego again." Mario said sighing. "Anyway, today's episode is all about _Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga_, the first of a RPG spin-off series."

"Shove off, Red! This is my time to shine! So boo to you!" Popple said trying to push Mario away.

"Luigi, I think it's time for a Bros. Attack!" Mario said over Popple's shoulder to Luigi. He nodded his head and rushed over to him. Mario bounced over Luigi's back and preformed the Splash Bros. attack on Popple.

The thief clutched his head in pain. "How dare you! I'll get you two! And YOU too, **TotalDreamerGirl!** You just had to suggest we do this, see!" Angrily shaking his fists in the air, Popple stormed off.

_**MARIO & LUIGI: SUPERSTAR SAGA**_

MLMLMLMLMLML **A LITTLE TOO EARLY, WAY TOO EARLY**MLMLMLMLMLML

"Help, help!" a Toad said frantically running around. "A green witch made off with the princess's voice!"

The Mario Bros. had just made their way to the castle to see more Toads in a panic. When they got inside, they saw Peach crying very loudly. Mario made his way over to Peach.

"Princess Peach, are you alright?" he asked. Then, another Peach came out of nowhere. "Oh, I'm alright Mario. I was just standing back there waiting for my cue later on… oh wait—"

"CUT!" the director said. "Peach, you weren't supposed to come out until they got to the Beanbean Kingdom!" He then walked over to the sobbing Peach. "Birdo, would you mind redoing that scene?"

Birdo took off the Peach costume. "Ugh, I can't wait all the way until the Beanbean Kingdom to take this thing off! It really sweaty, I mean Peach how do you stand wearing this huge dress?"

Bowser suddenly busted in. "Greetings pests! I've come to kidnap Peach, again!"

The director walked over to the Koopa King. "Bowser we're kind of in a little pickle here, Peach came out way too early. So we're going to have to redo this scene. So could you please go back out and wait?"

Bowser's eye twitched. "Are you serious? I stood out there for about an hour rehearsing my big entrance and you're telling me I have to go back out and do it over?"

The director shrugged. "Well that's what has to be done, and your entrance could use some more working on!"

**RAWWWRRRRRR!** Bowser roared using his fire breath on him.

"**YOU PIECE OF #&$^ HOW DARE YOU TELL ME HOW TO DO MY &&#^# JOB! YOU SCRAWNY LITTLE WEAKLING! WHAT A LOAD OF #&$^^ THIS IS!"**

"Somebody get the tranquilizer darts! He's gone mad!" the director said crawling away.

MLMLMLMLMLML **BROS. ATTACKS GONE WRONG (1)** MLMLMLMLMLML

"Alright Mario, let's show these baddies how it's done!" Luigi said. "Let's try the Knockback Bros. attack!"

Mario got in front of Luigi to perform the attack. Luigi took out his hammer and whacked Mario to turn him into a ball. However… he may have done it a little too hard.

**CRRRRRRAAAAACCCCKKKKKKK!**

Mario's bones literally snapped apart, and a few even came out of his shoulders. Luigi got bug-eyed as he stared at Mario, who looked like somebody dropped an anvil on him.

"Mario? I'm really sorry! Really I—"

Mario stopped him. "Don't. Say. Another. Word. "

"CUT!" the director said.

MLMLMLMLMLML**VOICE CONTROL**MLMLMLMLMLML

"**HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!** This is perfect, Fawful! With the princess's voice inserted into your Peach-bots, I'll be able to harness the power of the Beanstar!" Cackletta said.

"Now it's time to activate my creations!" Fawful said activating the robots. They opened their mouths to sing, but out would come explosive vocabulary.

"**# &*$*& ($# *() $(& ( & (* &!"** they went. But it was a little bit too loud, because all the windows in the room shattered. Even the two baddies covered their ears.

Fawful tried to deactivate them. "They're not supposed to be this loud! Who messed with their volume control?" Over in the corner, Popple was snickering.

"Insolent little ****!" the witch yelled at the thief. She had uncovered her ears, unintentionally letting the ear-piercing vocab get be heard. "ACK, I can't stand this anymore!" Cackletta's head shook, and then it blew up.

Fawful took his hands off his ears. "Hey! Don't leave me out!" His head blew up as well.

"CUT!" the director said as his head too blew up.

MLMLMLMLMLML**HYPNOTISM DOESN'T WORK ON LUIGI**MLMLMLMLMLML

"Now Luigi, you'll need to venture into Guffawa Ruins to find the cure for your brother's Bean Fever. But because you're pretty much the biggest chicken on the planet—"

"HEY!" Luigi yelled. "I ventured into a ghost-filled mansion for Pete's sake!"

The hypnotist snickered. "Anyway, I'm going to have to hypnotize you into being a brave hero instead of a full-blown coward!" He took out a watch and started waving in front of Luigi's face.

"You are getting very sleepy, VERY sleepy." The hypnotist saw Luigi's eyes closing. "Now, when I snap my fingers, you will think you're the bravest of them all!"

**SNAP!**

Luigi suddenly opened his eyes and looked around. "Sorry, that didn't work!"

"CUT! Luigi are you serious? I mean are you for real? We hired a professional hypnotist and it doesn't do jack to you?" the director yelled.

"I don't really believe in hypnotism! It has no real effect on me what-so-ever!" Luigi argued.

"It has to! I had a hypnotist help me overcome my fear of using the toilet at age 9—"the director suddenly realized he had just said. "Oh, um…"

Luigi and the hypnotist were already laughing on the floor. The director simply frowned. "You can't blame me! I thought I'd fall in and get flushed away!" he said.

This made Luigi gross out. "Whoa, TMI man, TMI!"

"CUT! CUT! CUUUUUUUTTTTTT!" the director screamed.

MLMLMLMLMLML **BROS. ATTACKS GONE WRONG (2)** MLMLMLMLMLML

"Alright Luigi, time to perform the Chopper Bros. move!" Mario said grabbing his hammer. He hammered Luigi into the ground as he moved forward underground.

Mario ran toward the enemy as Luigi was right under him. The red clad plumber jumped into the air as Luigi would bounce him into the air.

Luigi jumped from the ground, but he may have done it a little too hard. Mario sprung high into the air and stayed there for about 5 minutes.

"MARRRIIOOOOOO!" Luigi screamed as Mario headed straight back down to the ground.

"WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN TO MEEEEEEEEE—"(**SPLAT)**

He landed right on the enemy, and both of them turned into a splattered mess of themselves.

Luigi nodded his head. "Tsk, tsk. Poor Mario."

MLMLMLMLMLML **WHO AM I?** MLMLMLMLMLML

Mario, Luigi, Popple, and Rookie (Bowser) were hanging on to the Beanstar as it flew high into the air. One by one, the bros and the thief lost their grip and fell off.

Rookie kept his grip on the Beanstar, when suddenly his memory came back.

"Oh! I remember! I remember!" he said. "I…I am…"

"I am… BOOSER THE KING! Oh wait I said that wrong!" he growled.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

_Take Two_

"I am… BOWSER THE QUEEN! Aw crap!" Bowser snapped.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

_Take Three_

"I am BOWSER THE GREAT! That works right?" he asked.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

_Take Four_

"_I… am your father!"_ Bowser said in a really deep voice. "Nice impression, wouldn't you say so?"

"Yes and… CUT!" the director yelled, his face turning purple from the out-of-breath screaming.

_Take 382_

"I am… BOWSER THE KING! Yes! I finally nailed it!"

The Beanstar broke apart as Bowser fell back towards the ground.

Meanwhile, TotalDreamerGirl was eating at a Chinese restaurant when she decided to read her fortune cookie. She cracked it open and read the slip of paper.

"Doom is like somebody crushing your spine, wait what?" she read. Bowser suddenly crashed through the roof on top of her. A spine-cracking sound was heard.

"My back, or should I say my spine is broken!" she wailed.

"Sorry ma'am! Oh wait it's the reviewer who suggested this, never mind!" Bowser said as he got off of her and walked out. He then came back in to the register. "Say can I have some orange chicken to go?"

"CUT!" the director yelled.

"Well, another great episode!" Luigi said.

"Oh Luigi, I have a surprise for you!" Mario said with something behind his back. Luigi walked over to him.

"What is it, bro?" he asked.

"MY HAMMER TO YOUR HEAD! REVENGE!" Mario said revealing the hammer behind his back. Luigi screamed as Mario chased him swinging the hammer like a mad man.

"Alright nothing to see here, you hear? Now SCRAM! You bother me you see!" Popple said.

**So how'd we do? Leave your thoughts/comments in the reviews and we'll see next time on **_**Toadally Screwed!**_

"You've gone loco Mario! LOCO I TELL YOU!" Luigi said still be chased by his hammer swinging brother.


	9. Mario Party 8

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own any of the Mario franchise. How many times do I have to tell you?**

"Welcome to _Toadally Screwed!_ It's me, MC Ballyhoo!" the floating ringmaster said. His hat bounced with excitement.

"In today's episode, we'll be taking a look at the eighth installment in the Mario Party franchise, _Mario Party 8!_" Big Top said.

"Right you are my hat friend! So grab your concessions, because we're going to have a great episode for you!" Ballyhoo said flying away. But he flew so fast that Big Top fell off his head.

"HEY! Come back! Don't forget about me!" the hat said. "Seriously he does this every time! No good son of a—"

"WATCH IT HAT OR YOUR GOING BACK TO THE DISCOUNT STORE!" Ballyhoo said abruptly returning. "Also on the matter, **PhintasticFlynn** was the reviewer to suggest this!"

Big Top corrected him. "Not exactly, the reviewer suggested ONE of the Mario Parties. The author chose which one to do!"

"_Say, I wonder if that store still sells those polka dot caps_…" Ballyhoo thought leaving slyly.

"Just where do you think you're going?!" Big Top angrily asked as he hopped after him.

_**MARIO PARTY 8**_

888888**THERE'S REALLY SNOW WAY OUT**888888

Daisy, Blooper, and Toad were all trying to evade the snowballs shot out by a machine controlled by Yoshi. The three escapees were running around on the roof of a lodge, which was empty.

Suddenly, a rescue squad abruptly entered. "All right everyone! We're putting this minigame on hold, remain calm!" the leader said. Three members of the squad took out shovels and quickly shoveled away the snow from the lodge's door.

The leader ran over to Yoshi in the machine. "What's going on?" the green dinosaur said.

"We have a trapped civilian inside that lodge! We've received distress messages from him for years!" the group leader answered. The others went inside the lodge, and then came out with a Koopa Troopa.

"THANK YOU! You don't know how long I've spent trapped in the freaking lodge!" the Koopa said manically. Then he angrily stormed over to Yoshi. "Hey dinosaur, didn't you see me waving in there?"

"I thought you were just part of the scenery!" Yoshi protested.

"AND WHAT ARE YOU THREE MISCREANTS DOING RUNNING AROUND ON MY ROOF!" Koopa said angrily to the trio on the roof.

The rescue squad leader walked over to him. "Um, didn't you say there was somebody else in there? A Goomba if I recall?"

Koopa giggled nervously. "Well you see… we were both hungry… and had no more food left… so we got into a fight over who was going to eat who… and you could tell who won. **BELCH!**"

What looked like the foot of Goomba came out of his mouth. Everybody gasped at the sight.

"I think I'm gonna…" Daisy said covering the mouth of her now bright green face. She turned around and hurled on the roof.

"Aw man! I just had a carpenter repaint that!" Koopa said annoyed.

"CUT!" the director said.

888888**THE TREACHEROUS BALENCING POLE**888888

Hammer Bro. was carefully walking across the thin rope. Holding the balancing pole, he was trying to make his way across to the other side of the cliff and win the minigame.

A gust of wind blew the tightrope as he and the others tried to stay on the rope.

"While it's obvious where this minigame got its name from… at least it's not a stupid pun/play on words." he muttered to himself.

He may have caught himself off guard, because the wind came back and blew him off the tightrope. He still had a hold of his balancing pole as he fell. "Dang, I didn't come this far to lose!"

With the wind still around him, he quickly spun his pole like a helicopter blade and flew back up into the air. "HA! I can't believe this is actually working!"

The others just stood there stunned as the hammer-throwing enemy flew around in the air. But what they didn't expect was that he was coming straight towards them!

**SLICE! SLICE! SLICE!**

One by one their heads came off and fell into the deep chasm. "YOW! Whoops!" Hammer Bro said as he continued flying in the air. The gust carried him towards the other side of the cliff, where the minigame would finish.

He quickly let go of the pole as it spiraled into the air. He landed on the finish platform and jumped for joy.

"Yes! I won! I won! _Even though I ended up killing like 3 people_ but I won!"

His victory, however, was short lived when the pole came down right through him.

**SKKKKEEEEEEEEE!**

"Yeah, I'm going to be feeling this for about a month or so… ouch."

"CUT!" the director said.

888888 **"MAKEOVER MOJO" MY &^$# **888888

"Yahoo, I got one!" Luigi said receiving a star from the ghostly King Boo.

"So, you think you're so smart, huh? You've taken a Star, but now I awaken the bizarre!" the king said disappearing. Luigi jumped into the pipe as the house began to shake violently.

The house slowly sunk a little bit, and then it rose up in a huge explosion that sent bits and pieces of it scattering all over the place.

"WHOA! King Boo used his 'makeover mojo' and… blew up the place!" MC Ballyhoo exclaimed.

"CUT!" the director said. "King Boo, what happened?"

The ghost then reappeared. "Looks like I used too much of my makeover mojo, I guess."

"Seriously, what does makeover mojo mean anyway?" the director asked.

King Boo grinned. "Well, if you want to know so much, it's—"

_**FOR YOUR READING CONVENIENCE, THIS EXPLANATION WOULD TAKE TO LONG SO IT HAD TO BE CUT OUT. **_

888888**THE GREAT SPEEDY GRAFFITI VANDAL**888888

"What are you talking about? We're no graffiti vandals, this was just a minigame!" Toad said as he, Mario, Peach, and Yoshi were getting shoved into a police car.

"Nice try punk, next time you and your friends know better not go crazy with spray paint!" the officer said gruffly.

"But you don't understand! It's-a-me! Mario!" the red clad plumber said trying to break loose.

"Yeah tell it to the judge! You've already tried that when we arrested you for that loud party you threw years ago!" the cop said.

Mario continued to struggle free. "But really! It's-a-me! Mario, I tell you!"

"Seriously, whatever happened to the right to remain silent"? The other officer said.

"CUT!" the director said.

888888**THE DEATH CANDY**888888

In Goomba's Booty Boardwalk, Wario walked past a strange looking Candy with a purple wrapper. There was a skull on the wrapper.

"Huh? I've never seen this type of candy before…" he said observing it, but of course it really didn't matter to him. He decided to eat it anyway, but this would be a big mistake.

"Ugh… I… don't feel… so well…" Wario said clutching his stomach. It rumbled as he kneeled down on the ground and rolled all over the place. "Yuck, what was in that?"

Bowser suddenly landed in front of him. "Dang, THAT'S where I had dropped the candy? I was going to deliver that to **PhintasticFlynn** for suggesting this!"

"Technically, it was the author who chose which Mario Party to do, the reviewer just… eek… suggested which one to do…" Wario said. "Now back to my question, what was in that candy?!"

"Oh just some poison and acid with a little bit of chemical ooze." Bowser answered.

He looked down again to find Wario had melted because of the acid, leaving nothing but a pile of bones.

"Grrrrrr… now I have to go back and make some more." Bowser said stomping away. "On second thought, maybe I should make the candy explode when eaten. Stupid idea, but hey, who's to judge?"

"CUT!"

888888**A PERPLEXING QUESTION ABOUT THE PERPLEX EXPRESS**888888

"Yes! I got one!" Waluigi cheered as he got a free star from DK. He climbed up the ladder to the top of the train. The DK locomotive disconnected and rode off, and then came back as the regular one.

Waluigi then climbed back down to where Shy Guy was. "Hey, didn't you already get a Star? It's against the rules to—"

"Yeah, yeah I know. But I have something to ask. How do you manage to change the locomotive even though the train going in one direction?" Waluigi asked.

Shy Guy laughed. "Oh, well that's a question that only I could answer. Well, since you want to know, it's because—"

_**AGAIN, FOR YOUR READING CONVENIENCE, THIS EXPLANATION WOULD TAKE TO LONG SO IT HAD TO BE CUT OUT. WE ARE SORRY, AGAIN.**_

**. . .**

"Well I hope you enjoyed today's episode!" MC Ballyhoo said now wearing a polka dot top hat.

"Seriously, you replaced me with that stupid looking thing?" Big Top said hopping in. "At least I could do something while that can't!"

The top of the polka dot hat opened up and out came a huge laser. It was aimed directly at Big Top.

"Hey, I was just kidding you know? Right, am I right?"

**PEW!**

"Guess not." said the pile of ash.

"I'm MC Ballyhoo, signing off for the _Toadally Screwed_ crew. Good night everyone, and don't forget to review!_ Or I'll vaporize you with my laser!_" the MC said charging up the laser.

**Did you enjoy today's episode? Leave your thoughts/comments in the reviews and we'll see you next to on **_**Toadally Screwed!**_


	10. Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own any of the Mario franchise. How many times do I have to tell you?**

"Hello all out there in fan-fiction land, boy do we have a special episode of _Toadally Screwed _for you in store!" Mario said excitedly.

"So what makes this one so special than the previous nine?" Luigi asked.

"_Spoil-sport,_ anyway, remember how _Mario Power Tennis_ had a blooper reel for its intro?" the potbellied plumber asked.

"Oh yeah, you gave me a black eye from the tennis ball…" the green clad plumber said cringing. "But really, what makes this one so special?"

Mario pulled out a golf club. "Because today's episode is going to be a blooper reel of _Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour_'s intro!" he cheered.

"I do wonder why that game didn't have one like Power Tennis did…" Luigi asked.

"That's because Nintendo's a lazy ******** that didn't give a $&* & !" Mario said.

A messenger came in and handed Mario a letter. "What's this?" the plumber said.

_**DEAR MARIO,**_

**We're seriously thinking about excluding you from the next Super Smash Bros. game if you keep trash talking about us!**

_**FROM, NINTENDO**_

"Dang…" Luigi muttered.

Mario crumpled up the paper. "Ok, no more interruptions. Let's get on with it already!"

_**MARIO GOLF: TOADSTOOL TOUR **_

"Camelot!" Wario said.

"Nintendo!" Waluigi said

"CUT!" the director said. "You guys, really? Wario, you're supposed to hold the Nintendo sign!"

"But I wanted the sign with the cooler logo!" Wario whined waving the sign.

"Of course, leave me with the 'lame' Nintendo one!" Waluigi said. A pie was thrown in his face, with a tag on the end reading: FROM NINTENDO.

GOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGO LFGOLFGOLF

"Ooh!" Mario said looking at his reflection in the trophy.

"Wow… I like it!" Luigi added in.

Suddenly, Peach and Daisy called the bros. over. They turned around to respond, but Luigi accidentally hit the trophy stand. The stand tipped over, and the trophy fell off and shattered when it hit the ground.

"AGGGHHH!" Mario screeched.

"Heh, heh… whoops?" Luigi nervously chuckled.

"CUT!" the director said.

GOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGO LFGOLFGOLF

"Action!" said someone holding a clapperboard.

One by one, the princesses and Mario hit their golf balls. Now it was Luigi's time to shine. He reeled back the club, and prepared to hit the ball. He gave a hard swing, but let go of the club instead.

"Huh?" Luigi said seeing the ball still in the same place. He then looked up and saw his golf club soaring in the air. It landed somewhere in the woods.

"OUCH!" said someone from the woods.

"Sorry! Can we do another take…?" Luigi muttered under his breath.

"CUT!" the director said.

"Take Two!" someone said off screen.

Luigi took his shot, and the ball flew in the air. It finally was landing where the hole was, but it missed the pole and hit the cameraman.

"YOWCH!" he wailed as he soared backwards. The camera lens cracked when he hit the ground. "My back!" he cried.

Back where they were, the princesses and plumbers were laughing their heads off. Mario was rolling on the floor laughing.

"CUT! *snicker, snicker*" the director went.

"Take Three!"

Luigi finally made a perfect shot as the ball hit the pole and landed around in the green.

"Alright, I did it!" Luigi said doing a victory dance. However, he split his legs apart a little too far…

**CRACK!**

"AGGGGGHHHHHHH!" the poor plumber screamed as he did a not-so perfect split on the ground. "Can someone help me? I can't get myself back up!"

Wario and Waluigi were laughing from their hiding spot.

"What a klutz!" Wario bellowed. "What a dancing buffoon!"

"Come on guys! We need to get this done perfect! CUT!" the director yelled.

GOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGO LFGOLFGOLF

"Here's my ball!" Yoshi said. He bent over to pick up the golf, but then was startled by a Chain Chomp.

"**ARF-ARF!**" it barked hopping around.

Waluigi snickered at this. But what he didn't expect was the chain to break, releasing the manic creature.

"OH —"the tall man said running away. The Chain Chomp wildly rampage around, knocking Yoshi off into the air.

The cameraman was in complete panic. "Screw this, I'm outta here!" He threw the camera to the director and ran off.

The Chain Chomp was headed straight for the director. "Oh hello… and good bye!" He ran off too, screaming for his life.

GOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGO LFGOLFGOLF

"Hehehe, watch this!" Wario boasted holding his club in the air. He took a good hard swing as the ball soared in the air, and then finally landed in somewhere in the woods.

Waluigi came over to congratulate Wario. "Nice shot!" he complimented. They looked at the woods to see if something would happen, and for a few minutes, absolutely nothing.

**MEANWHILE…**

"*ACK!* It's in… *HACK!*... my throat! I'm choking on it!" Bowser struggled to stay up. He had one of his hands clutching his throat; in it was a small circular object.

"CUT!" the director said.

GOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGO LFGOLFGOLF

"Action!" said someone off-screen.

The Wario Bros. quickly were running away from a black-eyed Bowser. Figuring that he was to slow to catch up, he decided to call on his transportation.

He snapped his fingers, and his Koopa Clown Car showed up. He jumped up to reach it but it suddenly moved away.

"OUCH!" the Koopa King roared. Out of the Clown Car popper a tiny head, it was Bowser Jr., who was snickering.

Bowser angrily shook his fist. "HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO PLAY IN THE CLOWN COPTER?"

"CUT!" the director yelled.

GOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGO LFGOLFGOLF

Bowser menacingly hovered above the Wario Bros. in his Clown Car.

"Rah! Now I have you right where I want you!" the Koopa King pulled out a lit Bob-omb.

**KA-BOOM!**

The bomb went off right while he was still holding it. The charred Koopa coughed up some black smoke.

"Teeheehee… very amusing you guys." Bowser said with a sarcastic smile.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

GOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGO LFGOLFGOLF  
"Action!"

Mario took a good hard swing as the ball flew towards the castle course. Both Wario and Waluigi made their way through the doors as the golf ball landed right—

**KA-BOOM!**

The whole castle exploded in a fiery fashion. The Wario Bros. and Bowser landed near Mario and the gang was.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

"Maybe my shot was too powerful? I mean, what are with all the * ^&!* explosions?" Mario complained.

**KA-BOOM!**

Mario's golf club blew up right in his face. Luigi, the princesses, and the bad guys laughed at the charred plumber.

"I said CUT!" the director said again.

**KA-BOOM!**

The director himself blew up, leaving his seat intact.

GOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGOLFGO LFGOLFGOLF

"Yeah, now I can understand why they removed. I couldn't believe all that just happened." Luigi said.

Mario had his arms crossed, still charred from the explosion. "I still can't understand all the defective props, the golf club and the ball itself!"

"Maybe it's just karma?" Luigi grinned.

"Or maybe it's just…MY GOLF CLUB TO YOUR HEAD!" Mario said holding his club crazily.

"Oh good grief, Mario's gone loco again!" Luigi said in a panic. He managed to avoid a hard hit to the head as he started running away.

"Where are you going Luigi? I just want to welcome you to the club!" Mario joked.

*Insert drum cue*

"I'm Luigi, signing off for the _Toadally Screwed _crew! Good night everyone, and don't forget to review!"

"It's going to be a long 'good night' for you when I'm through with you!" Mario said chasing him with the bent club.

**Did you like today's episode? Leave your thoughts/comments in the reviews, and we'll see you next time on **_**Toadally Screwed**_**!**

"Why am I getting that déjà vu feeling?" Luigi asked.


	11. Super Mario Galaxy

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own any of the Mario franchise or Star Wars. How many times do I have to tell you?**

"Hello all out there! It's-a-me, Mario! Today's episode of _Toadally Screwed _is out of this world!" Mario said.

"Obvious pun for the win!" a Luma said.

"Right you are…" Mario glared at him, "Anyway, _Super Mario Galaxy_ is today's game!"

"I'm in it!" the Luma giggled.

"Uh, yeah… so I'd like to thank** ChronoTriggerMan **and **Mr. E Box** for the suggestion!" the potbellied plumber said.

The Luma then frowned. "Wow, two reviewers who wanted us to do this. We must have some real beggars out there!"

"Tell me about it, but enough chit chat, let's get this started!" Mario said hopping into a Launch Star.

_**SUPER MARIO GALAXY**_

SMGSMGSMGSMG**MORE LIKE BAD EGG GALAXY… **SMGSMGSMGSMG

Mario launched himself towards the next planet, where a huge egg rested.

He did a flip in the air and then landed completely on top of it. He bounced off as the egg cracked. As he landed on the ground, he smelled something… stinky.

The plumber pinched his nose when he got another whiff of the mysterious stench. "YUCK! Smells like someone took a* & &!" he said with his (now) green face.

Mario walked over to the egg and took a peek inside. He then cringed and backed away. He clutched his stomach and bent over.

"I really wish I didn't see that… now excuse me while I puke."

**BLARG!** "Oh, that doesn't look good…"

"CUT!" the director said with a clothespin on his nose.

SMGSMGSMGSMG**THE BEE'S STING**SMGSMGSMGSMG

"WOO! This is awesome!" Mario said. The Bee Suit allowed him to fly freely in the air. "With this, nothing can harm me now!"

He flew high up into the air, and then dove straight down with his stinger pointed sharply. He suddenly came to an abrupt stop before he hit the ground.

Looking down, he saw his stinger planted inside of something. "Whoops… sorry Luigi." Mario quietly said to his brother.

The Bee Suit stinger had gotten right inside of Luigi's head. "Oh, it's no problem. I feel perfectly fine! But I have the sudden urge to faint…" the green clad plumber said before doing just that.

"CUT!" the director said.

SMGSMGSMGSMG**THE AIRSHIP ALARM**SMGSMGSMGSMG

Mario found himself on a moon-like orb. But then he looked up and saw Bowser Jr. in an airship.

"Huhhuhhuhhuh!" the little Koopa said. "You made it! But I won't even need my dad's help to defeat you! Go at him Megaleg! Stomp him flat!"

Jr. pressed a button on the remote to summon his giant robot. An alarm went off, but the robot didn't show up. He looked around, and then found two blinking lights on the back of the airship.

"Oops, that's my airship alarm. I need to start labeling these buttons…" Jr. said.

"CUT!" the director said. Then another alarm went off. The director turned around and shrieked. "Hey, that's my car!"

SMGSMGSMGSMG**FASTER THAN A SPEEDING METEOR**SMGSMGSMGSMG

Rosalina and Luma were awaiting Mario's return with the next Grand Star.

"Hey, there he is!" Luma said. Mario was flying directly towards them, albeit very fast. "Is he going to slow down?"

Rosalina looked closer. "He looks like a meteor, he's burning up!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Mario screamed as he came closer.

"He's going to ram right into the Observatory!" Luma screeched. Rosalina knew this, so she quickly formed a shield around herself.

"WAIT! LET ME IN!" Luma yelled banging on the shield. Mario flew straight into them.

**BOOM! **The Observatory blew up into pieces.

The destroyed parts of the Observatory drifted in the realms of space. Rosalina (still with the shield around her) stood on a chunk of the Observatory.

Luma emerged from a pile of rubble. "Hey look, I have little Lumas floating around my head…" he said knocked out.

Mario floated nearby. Nervously, he chuckled. "Did I do that?" he said.

"CUT!" the director said.

SMGSMGSMGSMG**HOW TO VANQUISH A VILLIAN IN A MATTER OF SECONDS**SMGSMGSMGSMG

Mario climbed up the crumbling flight of stairs until her reached the top, where Bowser was awaiting.

"Bwahahahaha! Took you long enough to get up here, fat boy!" Bowser chuckled.

Mario frowned and then walked towards Bowser, who was still explaining his plan. "As you can see, my galaxy is almost complete! My giant sun that you can see behind—"

**POW!**

Mario's punch sent Bowser flying towards the sun. "YAHHHHHHHHH!" the Koopa King screamed as he landed on the sun's hot surface.

"Don't ever call me 'fat boy'…" Mario growled.

"CUT!" the director said.

SMGSMGSMGSMG**WHAT MAKES A BOO MUSHROOM**SMGSMGSMGSMG

"Just throw a 1-up Mushroom down a pit and there you go." a Boo said.

**. . .**

SMGSMGSMGSMG**TOAD BRIGADE UNDER FIRE**SMGSMGSMGSMG

**DEEP SOMEWHERE IN THE DEATH STAR…**

"Lord Vader! Lord Vader! There's something you should see!" an Imperial guard said. Darth Vader followed him over to the window, where they saw a giant Mushroom-shaped spaceship.

Vader growled. "I thought you said that there were no other ships nearby!"

"Well, I have reports that it could be a Rebel ship in disguise… should we use the super-laser?" the guard said.

"Very well… commence firing!" Vader said walking away.

The Death Star's laser powered up and aimed itself directly towards the Starshroom. The laser fired and made a direct hit.

**BOOM!**

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the Toads screamed drifting off into space.

"Target neutralized sir." the guard said.

"Excellent, those Rebels thought they could sneak past my security!" Vader said as he and the guard walked away, not knowing the Millenium Falcon flying by.

"CUT!" George Lucas said.

"Phew! Good thing I'm the only one who managed to stick around to close this episode!" the Toad Brigade captain said. "I'm the captain, signing off for the _Toadally Screwed _crew! Good night everybody, and don't forget to review!"

Unfortunately, he came a little too close to a black hole, which began to suck him in.

"No-no-no-no-noooooooooooo!" the Toad captain said as he got sucked into it.

**TOO BAD!**

**How'd we do? Leave your thoughts/comments in the reviews and we'll see you next time on **_**Toadally Screwed!**_

"Black holes suck, don't they?" Mario giggled.


	12. Paper Mario

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own any of the Mario franchise. Binky the Clown is from Garfield and Friends, and Jigglypuff is from Pokémon. How many times do I have to tell you?**

"Mario! Mario! Where are you?" Luigi yelled. As he walked, he stepped on something on the floor.

"**OWWWWWW! YOU'RE ON MY FACE!"**

Luigi looked down and saw his brother, flat as paper. He lifted his foot and helped him up.

"UGH!" Mario yelped. "I hate being made of paper…"

"So, this means today's episode is _Paper Mario?_" Luigi asked.

"The sooner it's over the sooner I can be three-dimensional again!" Mario yelled. "Ah great, you bent up the front of my face!"

_**PAPER MARIO**_

PMPMPMPM** {PLUMBER IN PRINCESS'S CLOTHING} **PMPMPMPM

The Toad guard looked around and sighed. "Fine… fine… you go into her room, only for a minute. Whatever you do don't be messing anything up!"

"Whoopee!" Mario cheered as he rushed into the princess's room.

"What a screwball…" the guard said.

**15 MINUTES LATER**

The guard yawned and looked at his watch. He gasped when he saw how much time had gone by.

He opened the door. "Hey bub, you were suppose— AHHHHHHH!"

Mario was in front of a mirror, wearing one of Peach's dresses. Along with that was he was wearing a blonde wig, a little mascara, heels, and he was in the middle of putting on some lipstick.

"This… isn't what it looks like?" Mario coughed as the guard fainted.

"CUT!" the director said.

PMPMPMPM** {MAKING AN ENTRANCE} **PMPMPMPM

"Oh my, look Mario!" Peach said. Her castle had been lifted into the air, but they don't know by what. "It's still daytime, but why are the stars out?"

Suddenly, Bowser (in his flying clown copter) headed straight for the window. He smashed through it, but then hopped out on the floor rolling in pain.

"AGGHHHH!" the Koopa King wailed. Shards of glass were stuck in his face. "IT STINGS! IT STINGS!"

"Shall I get the first aid kit, sir?" Kammy asked.

"CUT!" the director said.

PMPMPMPM **{SCREAMING WITH BINKY: PAPER MARIO EDITION} **PMPMPMPM

(Idea credit to **agarfinkel**)

"_Now, it's time for another edition of Screaming with Binky… get your earplugs ready."_ Garfield said.

Mario was in a battle with a couple of Bob-ombs, and was ready to attack them when out of nowhere…

"HEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYY BOB-OMBS!" Binky screamed.

His sudden outburst scared the Bob-ombs so much, their fuses lit.

"Oh no –"Mario squealed.

**KA-BOOOOOOOOM!**

Everyone was cover in ashes from the explosion. Mario wasn't the bit pleased.

"Hey, at least they went out with a BANG!" Binky joked.

"_This has been 'Screaming with Binky'… they don't pay me enough for this cameo…" _Garfield said.

"CUT!" the director said.

PMPMPMPM **{GOURMET GUY GETS GASSY}** PMPMPMPM

"I'll tell you where the fifth Star Spirit is, if you give me something sweet!" the massive Shy Guy said.

Peach and Twink went down to the kitchen to fix up Peach's famous 'Surprise Strawberry Cake'. "This will sure get him to speak!" the princess said with hope.

They returned to Gourmet Guy to hand over the cake.

"Oh, this is delicious, this is spectacular, it's…it's…" he began. Suddenly, a small noise was heard.

"Ewww! What's that stank!?" Twink whined.

"Excuse me…" Gourmet Guy said. He then began to hover in the air, from all that farting no doubt. "I had some beans earlier, and they seem to be taking effect."

**BRRRRRAAAAPPPPPPP! **The fart blew throughout the castle.

"Kammy!" Bowser roared. "I told you to take it outside if needed!"

"That wasn't me that time!" she said back.

"CUT!" the director said.

PMPMPMPM **{LUIGI'S DIARY} **PMPMPMPM

"Hmmm… let's see what Luigi wrote in his diary…" Mario said. He opened up the little green book and flipped through the pages. "Blah-blah-blah parties… golf… tennis… blah-blah, oh here's something interesting!"

_Dear Diary,_

_Today I did the unthinkable, the impossible, something my brother Mario would sure be proud of. It went a little something like this—_

As Mario finished reading the rest, his face turned green. He threw the book on the ground and almost threw up.

"HE DID WHAT!?" he screamed rushing up the stairs. "LUIGI!"

"CUT!" the director said.

PMPMPMPM** {JIGGLYPUFF'S SONG} **PMPMPMPM

(Idea credit also to **agarfinkel**)

"Alright, it's time to summon a Star Spirit, I think use Mamar!" Mario said. He summoned the Star Spirit as normal, but then…

"JIGGLYPUFF!" the Jigglypuff said, coming out of nowhere. He had a microphone in his hand, and then prepared to sing its trademark lullaby. As it sung into the microphone, tiny music notes came out.

The passed by Mario and the enemies' ears, the soft music made them drowsy, and then they fell on the ground, asleep.

Jigglypuff noticed them sleeping, and became irate. However, a devious thought rushed through its head. It took out a black marker, and scribbled all over their faces.

Jigglypuff snickered in satisfaction, but serves them right for falling asleep during its "song".

"ZZZZZZZZ_CUT_ZZZZZZZZ." the director snored.

"Man, how long was I asleep for, and what's this on my face?" Mario said referring to Jigglypuff's scribbles.

"Jigglypuff!" the Jigglypuff said.

"Stupid little…" Mario began, but then stopped when Jigglypuff threatened to sing again. "Forget it; I'm Mario, signing out for the _Toadally Screwed _crew. Good night everybody, and don't forget to review!"

**Enjoyed today's episode? Leave your thoughts/comments in the reviews and we'll see you next time on **_**Toadally Screwed!**_

"_Why does everyone hate my singing so much?"_ Jigglypuff thought.


	13. Hotel Mario

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own the Mario franchise. How many times do I have to tell you?**

"Welcome to another special episode of _Toadally Screwed!_ I have no idea why it's so special but it is! Peach, what are we looking at today?" Mario asked.

Peach came over to him with a scared look. "You're not going to like this…"

Mario crossed his arms. "No game could possibly scare—"

The princess held up a copy of _Hotel Mario_. Mario opened his eyes and looked at what he was faced with.

"**AAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!"** the plumber screamed. "Ewwwwww! Get that thing away from me!" Mario began to feel weakened, "That game's like Kryptonite to me!"

"We have to do it Mario, or the world will end as we know it!" Peach said.

Mario stopped freaking out and stared at her. "Really? There's no need for overacting Peach, it's just a game!"

Peach just sighed and went along with it, knowing that what was yet to come for this episode…

_**HOTEL MARIO**_

**_I HOPE SHE MAKES LOTS OF SPAGHETTI _**

"Nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic, eh Luigi?" Mario said as they entered into the Mushroom Kingdom. They stopped over in a patch of giant mushrooms.

"I hope she made lots-a liver!" Luigi said with excitement.

Mario's face turned green with disgust, he ran through the giant mushrooms and puked somewhere. "On second thought, forget about the picnic. I just lost my breakfast… gulp!" he squealed as he continued hurling.

"Was it something I said?" Luigi asked.

"CUT!" yelled the director.

_Take Two_

"Nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic, eh Luigi?" the red clad plumber said again.

"I hope she made lots-a Big Macs!" Luigi said again.

Mario face-palmed, and then sat on a stump in disappointment. "Luigi, it's bad enough you can't even remember your line. But now you've made me want to quit my diet!"

"CUT!" yelled the director.

_Take Three_

"I hope she made lots of spaghetti!" Luigi said.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

"What did I do wrong this time? I said it perfectly!" said a confused Luigi. The director slapped the script in his hand.

"It's not 'lots of' it's 'lots-a'!" the director argued. "Get your Italian accent straight! I'm not here to work with amateurs!"

Luigi slapped the director across the face. "Oh, so now you're language critic! Well, you can kiss my—"

"Ugh, you can't please some people…" Mario said exhausted.

**_DON'T WORRY, WE'LL CATCH YOU_**

Mario and Luigi exit the giant tree, where Morton had retreated from. As they landed on the ground, the fruit on the tree had grown back.

"Hey, princess!" yelled Mario. Peach was waving from the tree, but the branch she was standing on snapped, causing her to fall towards the ground. "YAHHHHH!" she screamed.

"Don't worry princess! We'll catch you!" Luigi assured.

The bros held out their arms to catch Peach. She screamed as she got closer to the ground, as she had hit the ground 5 inches behind them.

Splotches of red got all over the back of Luigi, who had just noticed the now limp princess on the ground. "Eh, Mario?"

"Yeeeessssss….. Ohhhhhhhhh….." Mario gulped when he saw a splattered mess of Peach.

"What are we going to do Mario?" asked a scared Luigi.

"Drag her back into the hotel and stuff her body in a closet!" Mario said as he and Luigi took her back into the tree hotel.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

**_WHOOPS! (1) _**

"Man, stomping on enemies all day sure makes one tired!" Mario said exhausted. He walked over to another door to close it, but then heard humming coming from inside. Never thinking of ever seeing what was in the doors, the plumber snuck a peek inside.

Inside, a woman was bathing in a shower. She continued humming until she saw Mario staring at her. "EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!" she shrieked. Mario jumped and tried to calm her down.

"Now ma'am, let's calm—", he began. A brush was thrown in his face.

"Get out of here, you sneaky little pervert!" the woman said.

Mario rushed out of the room and closed the door. Catching his second wind, he rubbed the sweat off his forehead. Suddenly, a huge grin came over his face.

"Maybe next time I should bring my camera…" he said sneakily.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

**_BOWSER'S SOURPUSS BREAD_**

"Have you ever wanted the perfect breakfast?" Bowser asked. He stood over Mario and Luigi sitting at a table.

The plumbers nodded their heads. The reptile laughed, "Well you're in luck! Introducing the newest product from the _Koopa®_ brand products is _Bowser's Sourpuss Bread!_" he sneered.

Mario smiled. "Oh boy… is it good?"

Bowser jumped up. "Of course, it's good for anything!" He then took the loaf out of Mario's hand. "And here are the many things you can do with it!"

_You can sit on it!_

_You can fart on it!_

_You can water it!_

_You can burn it!_

_You can sneeze on it!_

_You can use it as a pillow!_

_You can use it to run your kart!_

_You can use it as a weapon!_

_You can use it as a game cartridge!_

_You can use it as the game console!_

_You can use it as a controller!_

_You can use it to predict the future!_

_You can use it to blow stuff up!_

_You can use it to get out of jail!_

_You can have (__**CENSORED**__) with it!_

_You can (__**ALSO CENSORED**__) it!_

_And a million other things that are too long to list here!_

"Yeah, that's nice. But can you eat it?" Luigi asked impatiently.

"Well we really didn't think about that, so try it!" Bowser suggested.

The Marios bit into a slice of the bread, and as soon as they did they spit it out in Bowser's face. "YUCK! It tastes like Luigi's 3-year-old dirty overalls!" Mario shouted.

"Oh yeah that's right! There's only one thing _Koopa® _brand _Bowser's Sourpuss Bread_ isn't: edible!" Bowser giggled. "So buy yourself some _Koopa® brand Bowser's Sourpuss Bread_ today!"

_Ingredients include immense amounts of sour, staleness, and a slight hint of food poisoning. The Koopa ®_ _Co. is not responsible for anything that should happen to you when eating Koopa® brand Bowser's Sourpuss Bread. Stomach pains and massive diarrhea are not our problem and are entirely your fault for ignoring the ingredients in Koopa® brand Bowser's Sourpuss Bread. This commercial has been brought to you by Koopa® brand products. Thank You._

**_WHOOPS! (2)_**

"OK, high resolution setting on (check), camera flash off (check), zoom in set (check)!" Mario said standing by the same door from before. In his hand was a huge camera, ready to take pictures. "It's go time!"

Mario snuck the door open a little and began to take pictures. The "woman" however, turned around. "What the—?" Mario panicked.

"You dare bring a camera and take pictures of me in the shower?!" the giant monster revealed itself to be none other than Ganon. "You must _DIE!"_

Mario screamed and ran away, almost avoiding powerful beams from Ganon. As Mario escaped, he took a look at the photos he had gotten. The one he looked at, he almost puked.

"Oh geez I got a picture of his bare butt! UGH!" Mario doubled over in disgust.

"CUT!" the director yelled.

"I got to get out of this stupid hotel! Maybe this is the exit…" Mario said entering a door. This door had a familiar symbol on it: a triangle stacked on top of two triangles. A white, bright flash came from the inside.

**. . . **

"Oh dear, my father's been gone for a whole month. He must be found!" Princess Zelda said. "Link, you must go to Gamelon and find my father!"

Link nodded. "Oh boy, I can't to bomb some Dondongos!"

"Mario, make sure Link doesn't go throwing bombs all over the place… or eat an Octorok!" Zelda said to the plumber.

"Yes Princess…" Mario sighed.

"I'm Link, signing off for the _Toadally Screwed _crew! Good night everybody, forget to review!"

"Oh shut it, elf boy!" Mario said stuffing _Koopa®_ brand _Bowser's Sourpuss Bread _in his mouth.

**Did you like today's episode? Leave your comments in the reviews and we'll see you next time on **_**Toadally Screwed**_**!**

This episode of _Toadally Screwed_ has been sponsored and brought to you _Koopa®_ brand products. Thank You.


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